All of my friends already know this, but one of my favorite things to do is complain. When I don’t have a reasonable forum in which to do so, sometimes I shoehorn it into the lowest common denominator of the digital world, Craig’s List:
Reply to: pers-740492238@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-02, 2:34PM
If you happened to catch “Strawberry Shortcakes” (NY Asian Film Festival) last night, you probably know what I’m talking about. Alternatively, I could have also posted a Missed Connections for 127 minutes of my life.
Since I just moved here 3 months ago, I jumped at the possibility of an early week activity with a college friend (and it turns out, her boyf and only her boyf). So there I am, third wheeling a couple for a Japanese film with subtitles that was described as “the movie that SEX AND THE CITY should have been” and a “chick flick”. Better judgment be damned.
The movie starts off with a series of “day in the life” introductions of the main characters and immediately, I realize I’m fucked. Not only do I not know Japanese, but the primary characters are all waifish Japanese girls with long black hair. The fetishists in the audience were in heaven, while I sat, cursing the directors for not casting for some greater degree of variance.
Much like Sex and the City, the Japanese believe that women only come in 4 types. There is the depressed prostitute, the sweet good-willed free spirit, the tormented artist and sweet and pretty girl always seeking acceptance from men. There is kind of a fifth character, the tomboyish one that makes an awkward play at her platonic friend, but there was really very limited character development for this role. The sad fact of the matter is that they were all kind of skinny and attractive to that point that they all could have redrawn their roles out of a hat and it wouldn’t have been dramatically different.
Yadda yadda yadda, gratuitous sex scenes: 69, money shot, light bondage, unprotected sex, adult scenarios and a cigarette lit up at least every few minutes. Even a woman that knows she is pregnant lights up - irresponsible bitch. In the end sisterhood, an undying faith in intangible God and the realization that they don’t need men to be happy prevail.
Wow, what a load of shit. You fucking need us.
That is where I come in: 28, Asian, good athlete, well educated, well informed and shockingly good company despite misanthropic tendencies. I just moved here and need better things to do with my time than see shitty movies and write reviews/personal ads. I have to imagine that I’m reasonably attractive (mostly to the well dressed ESL honeybears that hang out in the East Village). Pretty open-ended as far as the situation I’m looking for - I’m not about to try to fit people into the societal understanding of where I should be at this time.
You: just be good at/care about something. Good sense of humor is highly utile, since the “you fucking need us” comment was in jest.
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