Things have gotten strange in my office. I find that the more terse and snarky I am with my coworkers, the more they tend to respect the value of my time and the more I can get done. The issue is, I may be taking it too far.
This morning, I was sent an error report from my new coworker who had been with the company for several weeks. While he is a well-meaning, jolly fellow, he is rather corny and sends me a lot of useless emails. After I fixed the error, he responded:
You’re a gentleman and a scholar…well, a scholar. 
I quickly wrote a response, blind carbon-copying a few coworkers, but couldn’t bring myself to send it. After several minutes of deep introspection, my other coworker (and friend) walked by. I said, “Dude, I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do.” He looked at my screen and offered, “Would it make it easier if I just hit send for you?” I responded, “Yes.” The response:
You are a funny fat man… that is not funny. :)
I giggled myself foolish. Several minutes later, I got a message from my coworker/buttonpusher accomplice:
dude im reaction watching
he opened the email
looked for awhile
contemplated writing back
then checked and deleted spam
he’s now checking personal email
maybe for a pick me up
typing now
maybe to bitch about you
The rest of the day, I waited patiently to get a dirty look or some snarky comment, but alas, the day completed without incident… on that front.
…
In the afternoon, my boss and I were working through an issue regarding encryption certificates - I ended up implementing a solution that saved 90% of the cost. When my boss asked me why it was so much less expensive, I responded, “I think it is one of those scenarios where you chose it because it was the only option and never bothered to shop around in the time since.”
I paused and said, “A lot has changed in ten years.” My boss gave me the look she often gives me that basically said, “You’re an insolent punk and I would fire you, but I can’t replace you for less.” I reached into my pocket, pulled out my iPod Nano and said, “Look, music doesn’t come on tape anymore, either.” Coworker and aforementioned accomplice, usually good at not eavesdropping and not laughing, burst out laughing as I walked away.
The circle of snark has to begin somewhere.
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