I realize this is a passive-aggressive approach to dealing with the cat lady downstrairs, but it really isn’t worth antagonizing an 81 year old cat lady.  They just have way more time on their hands than me and any offensive stance I take against her might result in her debatably untimely demise.  I tend to tread lightly around these types.  

My latest run-in with said cat lady was the result of the Chinese-food delivery guy ringing the wrong bell and her going ape-shit.  You know, end-of-the-world-type atrocity.  

1. Cat Lady mentioned that if we had a New Year’s Eve party as loud as the Holiday Party thrown here a few weeks ago, she’d call the cops.  I don’t suppose the cops will be busy that night, they’ll probably be able to respond right away.  Seriously.  
2. When I explained to her that it wasn’t my Holiday Party, Cat Lady said I was “defensive” and “apologetic” without “answering the question straight.”  I explained that it is a natural reaction to her raising her voice and being “accusatory” and referring to everybody in the apartment as “you”.
3. Cat Lady told me that most Chinese food around here is “vile”, but told me that Chinese food is her favorite and that her favorite restaurant is Chino’s [Yelp].  I don’t know if it is a function of her being white, a woman or old (possibly the cross-section), but I wonder if she realized that I am clearly of East Asian descent, might in fact be Chinese, and honestly not care what an 81 year-old shut-in cat-lady likes to eat.  I would have predicted Meow Mix.  I was wrong.  Go figure.
4. Cat Lady, I realize you lived through the woman’s liberation/equality movement, but you’re 81.  Wear a bra or a series of sweatshirts or tarps, please.      

NOTE: I am not sure if she has actually has a cat.  She just seems like the type that would be easily abandoned/ignored by human relatives.

NOTE (Part 2): Of the 16 reviews for Chino’s, 8 came from verifiably non-Asian females, which is actually par.  I don’t understand why most of the Yelp population seems to be young Asian females.  

NOTE (Part 3): If you look like you should be working the slow nights at Lucky Cheng’s [Yelp], why Joolie T. [Yelp], would you post 104 photos of yourself or link your MySpace page [indicating that you are from Staten Island]?  Don’t you want anybody to like you?  

NOTE (Part 4): When Lucky Cheng’s says that it is “Asian Fusion”, they mean, “Asians that are a fusion of boys and girls”.  It is a drag bar.  

NOTE (Part 5): I have actually given the action figure as a gift before.

Tags: worst

Leave a Comment

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website