Some noteworthy Boo-Boo-isms from the last several days:
- Boo-Boo: I wish I could quit you.
Me: Oh Boo-Boo, I wish your essence came on conveniently packaged 1″ circular discs so that I could gradually wean myself off you. - After Boo-Boo made plans to meet, cancelled them and then reinstated them…
Me: Oh Boo-Boo, you string me along like Scrooge McDuck after a dollar bill.
Tags: ohbooboo
Since moving to New York, I have been spending more time with a South Asian girl I met through friends while living in Philadelphia. In addition to possessing a staggering amount of grace and beauty, this young lady posesses a laugh that can most accurately be compared to the sound made by a squeaky wheel on a shopping cart (except her laugh has a higher pitch and is more persistent). Naturally, this is one of the true wonders of MY world and as such, I go to great lengths to make her laugh, even if it means compromising my own [affordably priced] dignity.
Knowing that she responds to mushy, flattering comments that employ figurative language, I have embarked on my own bad writing contest [similar to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest] in an effort to catch her off guard and inspire a fit of convulsive laughter. I have even given her a painfully obnoxious petname, Boo Boo, in honor of Yogi Bear’s sidekick. Like her namesake [pile on the Indian jokes!], she is also small, brown and hairy.
 yogi-bear-n-boo-boo
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Some highlights…
- [2008-08-11] Oh Boo-Boo, I miss you like a blind man trying to thread a needle.
- [2008-08-22] Oh Boo-Boo, I miss you worse than my metaphors miss comprehension.
- [2008-10-06] Oh Boo-Boo, you’re the browncake missing from my love reactor. [NOTE: play off of yellowcake.]
- [2008-10-13] Oh Boo-Boo, you’re like a football - you’re small, brown and I would spike you in the endzone.
- And sometimes… we break character and have an honest exchange about how insidiously mushy we’re being…
[2008-10-17]
Boo-Boo: Lets do something this weekend. I need to study, but maybe we can have a coffee date.
Me: Oh Boo-Boo, may I have the honor of stirring your coffee as I look longingly into your eyes of molten chocolate?
Boo-Boo: OMG, were you like throwing up as you wrote that?
Me: Little bit.
Boo-Boo: That was good. So bad.
Me: I had to come up with something brown and I was really struggling to not say ‘bear poop’.
Tags: ohbooboo
All of my friends already know this, but one of my favorite things to do is complain. When I don’t have a reasonable forum in which to do so, sometimes I shoehorn it into the lowest common denominator of the digital world, Craig’s List:
Cigarettes and unprotected sex
Reply to: pers-740492238@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-02, 2:34PM
If you happened to catch “Strawberry Shortcakes” (NY Asian Film Festival) last night, you probably know what I’m talking about. Alternatively, I could have also posted a Missed Connections for 127 minutes of my life.
Since I just moved here 3 months ago, I jumped at the possibility of an early week activity with a college friend (and it turns out, her boyf and only her boyf). So there I am, third wheeling a couple for a Japanese film with subtitles that was described as “the movie that SEX AND THE CITY should have been” and a “chick flick”. Better judgment be damned.
The movie starts off with a series of “day in the life” introductions of the main characters and immediately, I realize I’m fucked. Not only do I not know Japanese, but the primary characters are all waifish Japanese girls with long black hair. The fetishists in the audience were in heaven, while I sat, cursing the directors for not casting for some greater degree of variance.
Much like Sex and the City, the Japanese believe that women only come in 4 types. There is the depressed prostitute, the sweet good-willed free spirit, the tormented artist and sweet and pretty girl always seeking acceptance from men. There is kind of a fifth character, the tomboyish one that makes an awkward play at her platonic friend, but there was really very limited character development for this role. The sad fact of the matter is that they were all kind of skinny and attractive to that point that they all could have redrawn their roles out of a hat and it wouldn’t have been dramatically different.
Yadda yadda yadda, gratuitous sex scenes: 69, money shot, light bondage, unprotected sex, adult scenarios and a cigarette lit up at least every few minutes. Even a woman that knows she is pregnant lights up - irresponsible bitch. In the end sisterhood, an undying faith in intangible God and the realization that they don’t need men to be happy prevail.
Wow, what a load of shit. You fucking need us.
That is where I come in: 28, Asian, good athlete, well educated, well informed and shockingly good company despite misanthropic tendencies. I just moved here and need better things to do with my time than see shitty movies and write reviews/personal ads. I have to imagine that I’m reasonably attractive (mostly to the well dressed ESL honeybears that hang out in the East Village). Pretty open-ended as far as the situation I’m looking for - I’m not about to try to fit people into the societal understanding of where I should be at this time.
You: just be good at/care about something. Good sense of humor is highly utile, since the “you fucking need us” comment was in jest.
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/m4w/740492238.html
- WANTED: Attractive female can opener [2006-10-06]
- Monday at Noche, Asian girl with 3 guys - m4w [2005-05-17]
- SAM Seeks Bitchy SF [2005-04-19]
Tags: org_craigslist
A little trip down memory lane, for the purposes of full disclosure:
WANTED: Attractive female can opener
Reply to: job-216874424@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-10-06, 12:25PM
Our home card game has recently lost some intensity, so we are looking to improve the ambiance.
Naturally, the best way to solve this is to hire some spare hands and while we’re at it, add some eye-candy to the room.
You are:
- Interested in making $15-20/hour in cash for 4-6 hours per session (cash)
- Willing to wear something interesting of your choosing subject to our discretion
- Willing to enforce the Schmoopie rule (no more than 90 seconds on the phone per call)
- Bring us beer, mix basic drinks, meet the food delivery guy at the door
- Attractive and have a fun personality, though this is not an inner-beauty contest
- Bonus: you can juggle (blunt objects), have an intriguing accent of some sort and can persuade people to keep playing.
We are:
- Professional/graduate student types
- Laid back and respectful - none of us have ever played lacrosse for Duke nor have ever been arrested
- Not going to drool and/or stare at you in a creepy way nor degrade you in any way
If you are interested, you should:
- Respond with a picture
- Tell us when you can meet for a quick interview
- Give us an indication about when you are available, mostly during the week
Original URL: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/etc/216874424.html
Tags: org_craigslist
Tags: lolcat
