While out at lunch a few weeks ago with Boo-Boo (and her older sister Shoo-Shoo), we were discussing a date that Boo-Boo just went on.

Boo-Boo: I wish I could just skip into the comfortable part of the relationship.  
Me: Naw, you don’t mean that.  The best part of a relationship is the first 3 months in, with all the excitment and uncertainty.  It’s like that episode of Seinfeld where everyone wants the muffin top and not the stub - the boring, consistent part isn’t desirable.
Shoo-Shoo: That’s why they make scones. 

Reference:

• The Muffin Tops [wiki]

Tags: ohbooboo

Sometimes when you don’t have the energy to be completely obnoxious to your fictious soulmate, it helps to lean on technology.  That is why last week I added a new entry to the autotext dictionary on my Blackberry.  Now the key sequence “obb” results in “Oh Boo-Boo“, ready for me to add on whatever sappy comment I can think of.  

Saccharine sweet made easy.

[Apologies to Naughty By Nature.]

Tags: ohbooboo

Some noteworthy Boo-Boo-isms from the last several days:

• Boo-Boo: I wish I could quit you.
  Me: Oh Boo-Boo, I wish your essence came on conveniently packaged 1″ circular discs so that I could gradually wean myself off you.  
• After Boo-Boo made plans to meet, cancelled them and then reinstated them…
  Me: Oh Boo-Boo, you string me along like Scrooge McDuck after a dollar bill.

Tags: ohbooboo

Since moving to New York, I have been spending more time with a South Asian girl I met through friends while living in Philadelphia.  In addition to possessing a staggering amount of grace and beauty, this young lady posesses a laugh that can most accurately be compared to the sound made by a squeaky wheel on a shopping cart (except her laugh has a higher pitch and is more persistent).  Naturally, this is one of the true wonders of MY world and as such, I go to great lengths to make her laugh, even if it means compromising my own [affordably priced] dignity.  

Knowing that she responds to mushy, flattering comments that employ figurative language, I have embarked on my own bad writing contest [similar to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest] in an effort to catch her off guard and inspire a fit of convulsive laughter.  I have even given her a painfully obnoxious petname, Boo Boo, in honor of Yogi Bear’s sidekick.  Like her namesake [pile on the Indian jokes!], she is also small, brown and hairy.

yogi-bear-n-boo-boo

Some highlights…

• [2008-08-11] Oh Boo-Boo, I miss you like a blind man trying to thread a needle.
• [2008-08-22] Oh Boo-Boo, I miss you worse than my metaphors miss comprehension.
• [2008-10-06] Oh Boo-Boo, you’re the browncake missing from my love reactor. [NOTE: play off of yellowcake.]
• [2008-10-13] Oh Boo-Boo, you’re like a football - you’re small, brown and I would spike you in the endzone.
• And sometimes… we break character and have an honest exchange about how insidiously mushy we’re being…
  [2008-10-17]
  Boo-Boo: Lets do something this weekend.  I need to study, but maybe we can have a coffee date.
  Me: Oh Boo-Boo, may I have the honor of stirring your coffee as I look longingly into your eyes of molten chocolate?
  Boo-Boo: OMG, were you like throwing up as you wrote that?
  Me: Little bit.
  Boo-Boo: That was good.  So bad.
  Me: I had to come up with something brown and I was really struggling to not say ‘bear poop’.

Tags: ohbooboo