While out at lunch a few weeks ago with Boo-Boo (and her older sister Shoo-Shoo), we were discussing a date that Boo-Boo just went on.
Boo-Boo: I wish I could just skip into the comfortable part of the relationship.
Me: Naw, you don’t mean that. The best part of a relationship is the first 3 months in, with all the excitment and uncertainty. It’s like that episode of Seinfeld where everyone wants the muffin top and not the stub - the boring, consistent part isn’t desirable.
Shoo-Shoo: That’s why they make scones.
Sometimes when you don’t have the energy to be completely obnoxious to your fictious soulmate, it helps to lean on technology. That is why last week I added a new entry to the autotext dictionary on my Blackberry. Now the key sequence “obb” results in “Oh Boo-Boo“, ready for me to add on whatever sappy comment I can think of.
Saccharine sweet made easy.
[Apologies to Naughty By Nature.]
Some noteworthy Boo-Boo-isms from the last several days:
Since moving to New York, I have been spending more time with a South Asian girl I met through friends while living in Philadelphia. In addition to possessing a staggering amount of grace and beauty, this young lady posesses a laugh that can most accurately be compared to the sound made by a squeaky wheel on a shopping cart (except her laugh has a higher pitch and is more persistent). Naturally, this is one of the true wonders of MY world and as such, I go to great lengths to make her laugh, even if it means compromising my own [affordably priced] dignity.
Knowing that she responds to mushy, flattering comments that employ figurative language, I have embarked on my own bad writing contest [similar to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest] in an effort to catch her off guard and inspire a fit of convulsive laughter. I have even given her a painfully obnoxious petname, Boo Boo, in honor of Yogi Bear’s sidekick. Like her namesake [pile on the Indian jokes!], she is also small, brown and hairy.